I feel this frustration so much, trying to learn to live with the death of my husband and the story I believed through his eyes that I didn’t realize I relied on so much. And learning self-compassion and kindness, which do not come naturally to me.
Thank you so much for sharing part of your experience here. That self compassion and kindness can feel so “fluffy” (words I used to use) and pointless when everything is so unfixable. There seems to be no greater learning than living without your person. Frustration becomes like a roommate because how can she not.
So well said. All my tricks for capably managing my very full life just stopped working when my Big Love of 35 years died. It made me feel like I had lost myself along with him. Thanks for this article - it provides what I think will be a very useful reframing for mourning all the ways I am not myself (my old self) anymore.
I’m so glad it feels valuable. I wish you didn’t have to hold this bowling ball. And because you do, I hope you can soothe and care for all the literal and metaphorical muscles and parts of you learning and straining to hold it 🤍
I feel this frustration so much, trying to learn to live with the death of my husband and the story I believed through his eyes that I didn’t realize I relied on so much. And learning self-compassion and kindness, which do not come naturally to me.
Thank you so much for sharing part of your experience here. That self compassion and kindness can feel so “fluffy” (words I used to use) and pointless when everything is so unfixable. There seems to be no greater learning than living without your person. Frustration becomes like a roommate because how can she not.
So well said. All my tricks for capably managing my very full life just stopped working when my Big Love of 35 years died. It made me feel like I had lost myself along with him. Thanks for this article - it provides what I think will be a very useful reframing for mourning all the ways I am not myself (my old self) anymore.
I’m so glad it feels valuable. I wish you didn’t have to hold this bowling ball. And because you do, I hope you can soothe and care for all the literal and metaphorical muscles and parts of you learning and straining to hold it 🤍